Sunday, January 31, 2010

Why Can't Girls be Eyecatching? It Obviously Works for You...

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my Onna ga Medatte Naze Ikenai review spectacular. ;D

I was going to review the costumes and the covers and whatnot a while ago, but then I decided to throw that idea out the window and do it when the HQ PV was released. Which was this morning, by the way.

So I'm going to be reviewing everything about Onna ga Medatte Naze Ikenai, which I think it deserves. We've had a pretty disappointing run of singles since Pepper Keibu (which I thought was brilliant, once I got over the initial shock. Idol music in the 70's/80's was terrific but terribly underappreciated). Naichau Kamo was lame and boring and all of those kamo's were dreadfully annoying (but we had those gorgeous close-ups to keep us distracted). Shouganai Yume Oibito blew us away at first, what with the storyline? PV (It's not storyline, you gaiz, just because they're doing something doesn't mean it has a storyline) and everything, but after some time we all realized what a terrible song it was. Nanchatte Renai was a shining beacon of hope, and even though the PV was gorgeous, it was like SYO's evil twin sister (and the lame attempt to make it different -cough-the rap-cough- did not go unnoticed) and many of us were offended by recycled songs. Kimagure Princess had potential; the title sounded different, possibly upbeat, but it turned out that it was just another lame song with terrible chipmunk effects thrown in for no apparent reason... 'Cause, what, Tanaka and Kame's voices aren't high enough for you? Sure, the dance was awesome and random, and a poor lyrics translation set everyone off (which was hilarious), but it's already being looked back upon as a terrible song, even though it's only been out for a few months.

So there was a lot riding on this single to not only do well (because SYO did that, so that's not an indicator of anything) but to also keep the fans happy.

Let's get into the first thing a buyer sees: the covers.

Actually, before that, let me address the costumes.

I first saw these dresses when photos from the H!P Winter 2010 concert were released.

I was shocked and a little terrified.

But, like many people, I waved it off. They looked like typical concert dresses. Terrible concert dresses, but we all know how the concert costume designers over at H!P like to get really drunk when they're working. Some of the costumes they make are pretty and cool, but you also have your share of hat dresses and giant sombreros.

For every one of these:


We get one of these:


And trust me, I think we'd all rather see shorts and a T-shirt over weird nun ponchos.

Anyway, I was shocked when I found out that the dresses I saw in those photos were actually the OFFICIAL costumes for the single. Come on, H!P. You're allowed to hand us these horrific outfits in concerts not just because it makes us lawl, but because the singles are our one refuge. Give us normal, nice looking clothes for the singles, and then give us the frills and poof in concerts. It's when the line blurs between the two that you know that something is wrong.

Worst of all, it's the only outfit they wear!

The past PVs have been pretty crappy, but at least they have multiple outfits (with the exception of Kimagure Princess). Two, about. Normally something for the dance (which is the costume on the cover) and a different one for close-ups or some other shot. And I was really hoping for another costume in this...

It works, though. The song title is about why girls shouldn't be showy (literally, eyecatching), so why not wear the most eyecatching thing in the world?

Anyway, enough rambling. Here are the covers.


Here is the regular edition. It's pretty boring, and a lot of people are comparing it to the Shabondama set. xD The red satin is actually better than some green screen image. It would actually be a decent cover if everyone didn't have such WEIRD EXPRESSIONS. None of them look particularly happy, and it doesn't make me want to buy the single, not at all. And poor Linlin, she couldn't look flattering in this shot if she tried. Worst of all, they have that weird bad lighting thing that they had in Nanchatte Renai; everyone looks greasy and tired.


Limited Edition A. I admit, I'm a sucker for dark, contrast-y lighting. And the background fits it the best, I think. Junjun, Takahashi, and Gaki all look gorgeous, but Tanaka, Aika, and Kame have monster circles under their eyes, and Linlin looks like she's about to cry. This might have actually been my favorite cover if there wasn't such AWFUL PHOTOSHOPPING. This is almost as bad as that one Kimagure Princess cover... Takahashi's arm fades away about halfway through, and Aika's hair has turned into a black hole. Tanaka and Shige are surprisingly okay, but those behind them have become floating torsos. So this could have been a great cover, but halfassed photoshopping ruined it. They need to hire a new guy, for sure.


Limited Edition B. Okay, here are my problems with this cover. The background is ORANGE. Fucking ORANGE. ORANGE, of all colors, ORANGE. It's the second least flattering color for a cover, right after yellow (my god, Hello! Chanpuru, my eyesss). And the girls know it. Tanaka and Takahashi look pissed, Kame is giving the photographer the eye, and Linlin looks like she's about ready to cut a bitch. Gaki is giving us a tired mom look, Shige looks like an alien, and Junjun is VERY VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. Meanwhile, Aika is absorbing the others' misery as her lifesource, and is pleased to have such a delicious lunch. MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE GUY IN CHARGE OF PHOTOGRAPHY?!


Limited Edition C (I love that we have these now).
Uhm... what's with the random structure in the background...? What does that have to do with anything...?
This cover isn't actually that bad, albeit pretty boring. The front row is giving us their usual faces, so they pass, but they do get a warning for playing it safe. Junjun looks as good as she can with this lighting and hairstyle. Linlin has given up trying and has gone to her happy place. Kame's inner monologue is along the lines of "What the hell, you guys. What. The. Hell". And post-meal Aika has sprouted gloriously spiky anime hair. I don't get it, but because the other covers are so hideously crappy, this one wins best cover by default.

My final verdict?
Cover fail.
Major cover fail.

I hope you're all very disappointed in yourself, and I think you need to go think very hard about what you've done. Because I know I will.

...Let's change to a happier subject, shall we?


A LQ copy has been floating around YouTube for a while, and surprisingly, it hasn't been taken down yet! Normally I miss the LQ version, but this time I was able to watch it. ;D So I had a pretty good idea of what this PV would be.

Iiiii love it.

Because I'm lazy, here's what I said on a forum when I first saw the LQ PV (because nothing has really changed from then):

"OH MY GOD YOU GAIZ. I think they're channeling old MM again! ='D

And it's not just the Yuujou-esque catwalk thing. It's the lighting and the opening of doors and foot shots and profile shots and ghostly makeup hands and EVERYTHING.


My mind has been blown.

The dance is fun.

Best of all, they were handed such awful concert dresses (concert dresses stay in concerts, you gaiz. Give us something not-poofy or sparkly for the PVs), and they all rocked it. Especially Junjun. OH my god Junjun. Even Linlin did her best. Oh Linlin. Bless her heart. <3

Also, am I the only person who found the opening amazingly fierce? D'=

I love this PV. I love it so hard. See? Even freakishly low budget PVs can be good, when you're not following the basic DANCE SHOT/CLOSE-UP/ONE MORE SHOT FOR FUN, 'KAY formula that most of the PVs have been following.

Now, if only this were a double A-side, because I want a PV for the B-side right nao. D=<

Also, Koha would have rocked this so hard. Just sayin'."

Edit: For some reason, the rest of my post was deleted, but I can't remember everything I had said. So sorry, the handful of people who actually read this blog, it ends here. ;D